Not that I would have ever allowed myself to sleep on a long bus ride filled with questionable strangers, but I really wished I could have slept through some of the pain. And the guilt. Spending that time with Evan, as short as it was, still managed to open a whirlwind of emotions I’d stuffed deep within my soul. I’d never really come to terms with what happened. I think that if our relationship had happened in the real world, I would’ve dealt with it and moved on already. So in that aspect, I felt cheated. How the hell did one move on from something like that? How did one know what bits and pieces were real, which feelings were real? You just couldn’t. And it kept me always wondering, kept me from properly moving forward, kept me constantly questioning my other relationship. I crashed when I got home in the early morning hours. And to make sure my dreams that night would be sleepless, I took an Advil PM to really knock me out. Boy was that a mistake.
