—MURIEL RUKEYSER NOTEBOOK 1 June 1952 Mama and Papa came back today, cramping my style and spoiling Sally with marvelous smocked dresses which probably she will never wear. She's a tomboy. Loves work clothes, pants, sweatshirts, and those little blue smocks they use at "progressive" nursery schools. Robin insisted on meeting Papa next time he's in town, and I'm worried about this. What trouble they could cook up together! Meanwhile, I have been making notes for a new book, saving string, so to speak. I want to write as madly and freely as I do in my notebooks and journals. Even if the book never sees the light of day, I have to know that I possess the courage to write it! I have to claim my voice or die! The subject of the novel will be the contrast between a woman's inner life and outer life—how the two interweave and contradict each other. The book in your head versus the book of your life! How you can be at the dry cleaner or the playground or the butcher and still be having sex in your head with every man you meet.
