relationship. There was no risk and unfortunately no reward. I wanted to push the limits with him, but I was afraid of rejection. I was hurt countless times before and I didn’t want another loss to add to the many I’d already experienced. And Levi kept an emotional distance for reasons I hadn’t quite figured out. My gut feeling was Levi had a secret. Maybe I sensed it because I was too familiar with the ways secrets burned endlessly until they caused irreversible harm to relationships. Levi was open in many ways, but I couldn’t help but feel there was something simmering below his happy and carefree appearance. I wasn’t the secret-bearer for once and it felt liberating. I didn’t pretend with him. Being closed off hadn’t won me any favors in the past, so I was trying something new. I told Levi all about my family and my fears about how their mistakes reflected on me. He never judged or told me I was wrong to still want to believe in my dad.
