Despite my fear of hospitals, despite the fact that I probably just deeply offended his mother, despite the fact that I made one of life’s biggest confessions and he said nothing, despite the fact that he totally bailed at the wedding, I’m going to see Rusty. At the hospital. Because I love him. I was more than a little hurt when I found out that he left before the reception. Not only did he not find me and tell me, but he almost seemed to be avoiding me altogether. I just don’t understand it. The only thing I can figure is that my use of the L word freaked him out. I’m sure Rusty knows I love him, but I’ve never gone out on a limb and told him. Until last night. Maybe this all adds up to the fact that he really doesn’t have deeper feelings for me. Maybe it’s just great sex and great companionship, nothing more. It’s as I’m pulling on a pair of jeans, getting ready to leave that I find something else to be nervous about. What if he doesn’t want me there? What will I do then?
