Could’ve been a hundred for all I knew. Every day I played with Maya in the sun, endlessly applying sun block so my pale ass didn’t get burnt. I tried to smile, dig in the sand and race her to the buoys out in the middle of the water. My heart was halfway in it, attempting to have fun for my sister’s benefit, but I was distracted. I was constantly drawn to the huge stone house at the end of the lake—looking for movement, cars coming and going, familiar faces. The only thing I ever saw was the gardening crew and someone painting the deck railing. It was insanely frustrating.I barely slept. The nights were too quiet and it was impossible to stop listening to my mind. The only place where I had any peace at all was the dock. In the middle of the night I’d go there and stare at the moon wishing I could be anywhere else.It was on the fourth night that everything changed. I’d slipped out as usual to sit by the water and think about how lame my life was. I was seriously considering asking my mother to take me to the nearest bus depot so I could get a ticket back to Manhattan where the noise could drown out my thoughts.I didn’t know why it was worse that year than it had been the previous two.
