I’ve done this every Monday, like clockwork, for over four years. But today, for the first time, I place a second order. A single red lotus to be delivered here at the gym, to Rocky. Taylor at Forever Florist is shamelessly intrigued. “A single red lotus?” she verifies, her words stretching with curiosity. “That’s right,” I confirm. “The red lotus signifies emotional attachment and passion. It symbolizes the opening of one’s heart.” “Interesting,” I deadpan. “Who’s the lucky girl you’re opening your heart to?” I sit heavily, sinking into the cracked leather chair. I pinch my eyes closed and try to suck in a breath, but my lungs aren’t cooperating. She makes it sound simple. It’s not. It’s difficult as hell. It’s messy and complicated and twisted.
